Duration : 0:3:56

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So how DO you get your ex girlfriend back?

Well the first thing that you dont do is something stupid. You dont go out on the town with your mates. Theyll lend a sympathetic ear and show you a good time, but youll all end up half cut and theyll try to help by introducing you to a lovely lady in the bar and you know whatll happen next, dont you?

Thats right guilt, just to add to all your other problems. Let alone the hassle of trying to get out of bed, get dressed and get out of the house without waking her! That, my friend, is an art that takes a long time in the making. Look at you, youre a wreck. Youve no idea what to do next. Not a clue. You cant concentrate on anything, you dont even care about anything and to be perfectly honest, you are boring everyone to tears. Sure, everyone feels sorry for you, but you have to do something constructive.

Making constant phone calls and sending hundreds of text messages is NOT constructive. Nor are hip expanding boxes of chocolates. Tasty, no doubt, but in these circumstances, less than useless. What youve got to do, and I know that this will be difficult, is to harness what little you have left of your brain power if you ever want to find out how to get your ex girlfriend back. Not only getting her back, but getting her begging to come back. And she will. But only if you play your cards right.

Although you may well feel the need to call her ten times per day, this is only going to make her see you as needy. It’s going to turn her off, even if she feels sorry enough for you to carry on taking those calls.

Make sure that you cut off all communication until you know what plan of action you are going to use. Think things through, are you acting out of pride or real, true desire to be back with your ex girlfriend? Knowing what you truly want is the first step you should be taking. Take the time out to really sit down and think about what you want. If pride is driving you, then you really shouldn’t be treating her as your possession.

Heres what you DO have to do. You have to stop running around like a headless chook chasing its own tail. {Yes, I know its a mixed metaphor, but whos writing this article?}
Remember, Im the one whos trying to show you how to get your ex girlfriend back.

You have to make a cup of coffee, not a beer, a cup of coffee, get some paper and a pen, sit quietly, no TV, and work out a few things.

You have, firstly, to work out why she left in the first place. Make a list of things that you did that she was always mentioning. They might not seem important things to you, but women are funny creatures. Always remember, Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Did she always comment about your smoking in the house? Maybe she didnt nag about it, but it was obviously on her mind. OK, stop smoking in the house, better still, give up smoking altogether. This will impress her no end.

The most heinous crime that any man can commit, in the eyes of a woman, is to leave the toilet seat up. Truly and without a doubt, this has been the cause of countless relationship break-ups.

Practice lowering the toilet seat. Its quite easy once you get the hang of it. Grab the top of the toilet seat with your right hand and gently lower it. Dont drop it or it will make a very loud crash and frighten the cat. There, that was not too difficult, was it? Now, about going to bed with your boots on

Your list may be short or it may be long, but what you have to do is change these bad habits BEFORE you try to win her back.

Its no use at all ringing her up and saying Ill change. You have to change first, THEN ring her up, casually, and have a chat, mention in passing that youve stopped smoking etc. How youre going to bring the toilet seat into a casual conversation is your problem, not mine.

Dont be in too much of a hurry to make contact. I know its hard, but two can play the hard-to-get card. If you wait for a few weeks and master the toilet seat thing, when you do call her, the call will be greeted, not with annoyance, but with relief on her part. After all, she may have given you the elbow, but shell still be wondering how youre going.

Now youre starting to get the upper hand. But you still need help. Big time help.

You do deserve to be a winner, dont you?

Duration : 0:6:24

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